In exploring all points of view, my material life and spiritual life clash within what I consider the apex of thought
Who Is the Magician Who Makes The Grass Green?
In spirituality, there is a certain type of philosophy that has been slowly gathering more attention. This way of thinking has only been hinted at by the mystics of ancient times, and has steadily been given life through ostensible “channels” of extra-dimensional entities. The general idea is that everything is a creation of the one mind, of which, has fragmented into the multiplicity of our experience. Thus, our individual consciousness has the power to create all things. It is only in our amnesia do we say otherwise.
Questioning the validity of these statements is perfectly normal for the vast majority of humanity. Our tendency is to often think rationally about the way reality is, by deferring to the already established rational authorities within the scope of science. If not, we will tend to defer to some of the already established spiritual authorities within the scope of religion.
Yet, either way, it is still up to our own consciousness to make the crucial decision to see the world in a new light, given new information. Whether that light bends to our will or not, is usually not the topic of our philosophical discussions. Generally instead, we talk about highlighting the seemingly static principles of the universe and our logical conclusions from those assumed facts. In this way, we are more inclined to accept the ubiquitous negativity that has existed in our past and thus create the same probability for the future.
In my own experience, adopting the idea that “I create my own reality”, allowed me to fall in the same exact error as any other philosophy or religion! Though, fortunate for this view, is that I can instantly see how useless it is to see this as an error, for every event is exactly what I need to discover myself from a more expanded point of view. Seeing it as an error, would only make me feel unnecessary guilt. This useless guilt isn’t needed to make any real change. All that is needed, is to see the inevitable error and correct it.
My words may seem a bit convoluted, so I urge the reader not to think about them too much, but instead, to continue reading for some stories that might explain this whole ideal better.
Life Before Materialism?
At an early age, I felt the crushing pressure that society demanded of me for my life. At around age 7 or so, I realized that in order to survive, I would likely have to work everyday for the rest of my life. This depressing thought had me crying to my mother for some kind of escape. This paralleled the Gnostic idea that the physical form is merely blissful light that accidentally trapped itself in a dense suffering known as “matter”.
Though, as I was sinking into this depression, some kind of experience dawned upon me. To this day, I can’t really explain it. But, it couldn’t really be described as an epiphany of any kind, nor could I say it was something that was unique or novel. It was more like a complete understanding, that no matter what, everything will remain as perfect peace. This didn’t seem at all like something I made up or invented from my own imagination. It felt as though it was just a fact that nobody ever talked about. With this golden reality in mind, I felt intensely overjoyed.
Flash forward to my life many years later (having completely forgotten this ostensible golden reality). I defy all attempts for any organization to schedule my life. Often only getting a job, here and there (due to social pressure), and quitting them after only a few weeks or months. I also went to a few universities and skipped out on most of the classes or found some other kind of distraction that would “free” me from having to work. I remember reading a book on the stock market, thinking I could avoid all work by simply shifting symbols around on my computer, known as “Day Trading”. And so, instead of studying for my computer science classes, I started to lose, fantastically, by the sharks of the stock markets.
Later, my avoidance became far more refined. I started reading into spirituality, and assumed that I could simply spiritually bypass my predicament by reaching Enlightenment (though I didn’t see it as a bypass at all). All the while, my life savings were burning away and I had no real plan for any kind of future vestment.
My material desires were becoming more pronounced over the years and so I often read about those who received wealth by just kinda being “spiritual” about it. Thinking positively, and assuming that one is already a millionaire in body and mind. I was always torn when I read anything that mixed spirituality and money, as I always wanted to separate these two aspects of life. I felt a true spirituality was purified of any kind of “material defilement”. Yet, as time marched on, I couldn’t find a way to decouple the two. Money and spirituality were as heavily linked as any other aspect of reality. Of course, I was always moved (and disturbed) by those mystics that proved to have no need for any type of material advancement. For whatever reason, I was always caught up in the words of these great masters to ascend to greatness instantly — instead of the more grounded spiritualists, that talked about self-realization as a life-long endeavor with many ups and downs. To me, these more grounded speakers and writers were being far more realistic to what was probable for a single individual to attain to in one life. Whereas, the spiritual masters upon the apex, were only reminding those within reach, where they needed to focus their attention. As a result, I was down on myself for desiring money, and not pursuing a path of 100% concentrated effort towards higher and higher realization. This often left me at a schizophrenic break between two extremes of experience within life.
Adding to this, I read up on many anarchist-spiritual movements that talked about Earth as though it was some kind of prison sentence (since everyone was forced to find some kind of work in order to survive). Certain literature loosely highlighted this idea, such as the “Church of Sub-Genius” or “Discordianism” which sarcastically played around with my sentiments that society was entirely a negative. Often satirizing the work ethic and the level of intelligence of humanity at the same time. An unfortunate reality that I still have to drag around when I happen to read the daily news. It is this kind of attitude that made me cynical about joining the world in anyway. It seemed to me, like I would be nothing more than a slave if I worked 9–5 and proceeded to live in the same way as everyone else (which seemed to be rife with repressed dissatisfaction, boredom and frustration.)
The Spiritual Lesson In The Mundane
Yet, for whatever reason, I could sense that spirituality had a different type of pull than any other topic. In my studies of the mystic realm, my life seemed to become less and less important, and yet there was still the paradox of it being very meaningful in its unfolding. Certain literature in Zen, Taoism or Stoic philosophy gave me a sense that whatever was occurring was supposed to be occurring. Additionally, listening to audiotapes of people like Eckhart Tolle and Barry Long, every day, on a constant loop — made me feel very good that I was doing nothing. In fact, their philosophy made it seem as though it was the best thing for anyone to be doing. That by simply being still, I was healing the collective trauma of the planet.
Thus, the way to wealth was once again, just kinda being “spiritual”. Perhaps, more accurately described as just “being”. Everything would work out so long as I was living in the “vortex” of bliss (as Abraham Hicks describes). Or that by “following my highest excitement”, it would eventually lead towards a desired reality. Even though many of these commentators would speak about the importance of staying within this blissful flow of life, it seemed that some would point out the fruitless endeavor of achieving any material desire. Because, in their words, ‘If everything needs to be taken from you to reach God, it will be so on the spiritual path’. An idea that makes total sense on one level, and sounds rather defeatist on another.
After a decade of playing around with all the varying perspectives, beliefs, and potential knowledge, I found myself in basically the same material situation as before I even heard a whisper of any metaphysical knowledge. For those that have actually utilized the knowledge for material gain, they could probably say that I have not yet understood the basic teachings. And since my mind hasn’t been in a consistent, perpetual state of joy, how could I challenge this?
Fortunately for me, this situation does not have me upset or too spiteful about spending so much time exploring spiritual knowledge. For it made me realize that nothing is ever in vain.
This consciousness was highlighted as I had a conversation with an acquaintance who worked as a manager at my gym. He happened to have the famous fictional story “The Alchemist” on his shelf. Having never read the book, I asked him what is was about. Excitedly, he gave me a short synopsis about a wise man who, no matter the circumstance, would always find a way to improve the situation or change it. At this short description of a fictional novel, I saw life perfectly reflected. Somehow, staying positive about the future, has allowed me to have the necessary energy to keep endeavoring for a preferable reality.
While, it may be true that some ascended ones can manifest gold from their hands, or lift boulders with their minds (effectively making our worldly work ethic seem fruitless and tiresome) at the same time we know that we can only do what we know how to do in the physical realm.
So, after listening to a lecture by Ram Dass (one I likely listened to, and forgot about, a long time ago) it finally settled for me. I realized that I could see all the mundane activity of the world (getting a job, voting, getting married, etc) as part and parcel of my spiritual work. If this is a prison, then I cannot just leave, I need to help free everyone, as everyone is within the same human condition, as I. All with their varying needs, conflicts, and joys. I realized that in joining society, I could actually serve people more. As portrayed by the Hanuman archetype where it is said: “Even greater than God, is God’s servant”. While certainly society has its negatives (some going as far as calling it a “matrix”), and as difficult as it can be to hold that dense awareness — this path places our human potential on a pedestal, so that society can evolve at its own rate.
When I made this decision, I became extremely satisfied with everything. Right now, it feels like I have overcome a huge barrier towards Enlightenment. Though, that is too lofty a statement to make, I just know that the last time I started looking for a job, I did so begrudgingly and knowing that I could easily quit on a dime. I had many nightmares, waking up in cold sweat, just because I subconsciously knew I was sidetracking my compassion for some kind of defiant self-indulgence. This time something does feel different. As though, I am operating on free energy. Yet, only time will tell. In life, there are more than ten hundred thousand paths to follow. At least now I know that it doesn’t matter which one is followed. Because only in exploring a path, can consciousness know what is right to do next. Very well, I could find myself, like so many others, miserable with my life, because of how much I have to work. But, what difference is this? Instead of being miserable with my life by how little I am helping out. Certainly, at this time, many people are doing well by quitting their jobs so that they do not become exploited.
Though, for me, I have to karmically catch up to the amount of work they already put in. Until my desire is exhausted.