XV: Let’s play, And the Paradox of Conscious Gaming


The Everdoor (Spiritfarer)

December 25th, 2021: My quest for more enlightenment continues, and yet sometimes it stalls. Though perhaps even a stall is still a movement towards more realization.

My favorite past time is meditation. In this state I can enter lucid dreams, visionary glory, and a very blissful sense of reality. During a recent meditation, I felt a type of bliss that I couldn’t very well surpass because of the intensity of the experience. It is the same type of state I experience at the peak of my favorite lucid dreams (that I will surely write or speak about in the future).

These types of intense experiences feel as though I am about to transcend into a higher realm, and that my chi is not quite cultivated enough to reach it. I always assume that meditation is the best path towards more bliss, but another part of me likes to reach out towards other endeavors that seem more or less void of any spirituality at all.

I have always enjoyed playing video games. It is a common past time for a large portion of the population. But, while it is popular, it is also known to be highly addictive, anger inducing, and downright brainwashing at times. It is therefore known by many in the spiritual community as being in the matrix.

While, games seemingly have nothing of enlightened positive value going for them (short of a few games and the possible symbolism of others), it does contain the one factor that allows it a saving grace. They are really fun.

Many years ago I came across channeled information of the Sassani, who simply stated over and over, that to reach higher states of consciousness, all anyone has to do is “follow their highest excitement” or in other words, do things that are fun. So whatever thing you enjoy doing the most, is the exact thing you need to do more of, until you find something else that is better.

Thus, any actions that feel like you are plugging into the “matrix” or that you are addicted to, is completely and utterly acceptable, such as getting riled up at a football game, drinking alcohol, watching television, or eating fast food. This is also akin to the left-handed path of tantra that allows individuals to indulge in their desires in order to eventually be free of them. No matter how long it takes.

There have been many writers and thinkers who also tell us to “follow our passion” in life. While, perhaps things such as watching movies or smoking weed is not always considered a “passion”, in the context of the greater picture, it is something that can be seen from a completely non-judgemental perspective as to alleviate the stress of having to achieve more than what seems to be fun in the moment.

I took all of this information to heart and was scouring my life to find out what my “highest excitement” (or life-long passion) was and attempting to follow through with it. I strongly felt that meditation was something like it, but I didn’t quite know a way to make a living from it.

For me, it was always video games that were in the back of my mind as the thing that gets me into what some call the “flow state”, in a state of passion. I thought this was a weird idea though, because playing video games just didn’t feel useful or constructive in anyway to a more enlightened society. However, I continued to play them, create them, and talk about them alongside my spiritual endeavors.

During the introduction of the internet, there were a variety of “Let’s Players” who would create videos of themselves playing video games. One such popular figure was Chief Kacho of Japan, who would release DVDs of himself just simply playing video games. It was very entertaining for me to watch someone who loves playing games with such a cheerful attitude and some dry humor added to the mix.


Later, I was introduced to the Game Grumps who were a comedy duo out of LA, that played a variety of games while talking about their personal lives and cracking jokes. Watching these people play video games was a strangely enjoyable thrill for me, mainly because of the idea that someone could make a living just by playing games, talking into a camera, and having fun. It was fun to watch, but it did not seem as though I could do the same. I felt as though my path was meant to be different than theirs. This, because I was aware of a greater reality (something the gaming community likes to avoid talking about, despite many games having themes that explore the idea). I was constantly having visions of extraterrestrials and a plethora of unusual energy patterns. I didn’t feel as though a life like this was possible.

So instead, I opted to create video games, as well as write some books. I felt I had a better chance of supporting myself by doing so, because of the belief that work would reward me better. Though, it is only now that I find out I had just as much chance of supporting myself by playing video games, meditating or by doing just about anything else.

As I write now, Twitch.tv is live to millions of streamers who attempt to do their best in becoming well known and having a life of relative ease and comfort. Yet, barely any of those millions will become renown enough to make a living out of their apparent passion. It is akin to winning the lottery. Whereas, our society forces us into the trades in order to survive, something like becoming an internet sensation would basically feel as though one has escaped a life of toil and virtual slavery by entering through a four-leaf clover door with rabbit foots and lucky charms. Unless of course it is seen as destiny that determines where one ends up in life.

As for me, I now endeavor to spin the wheel and see where my luck (or apparent fate) lands me. Nevertheless, my spiritual guidance has constantly told me that I definitely won’t end up being able to make a living from this kind of work. Yet, I still have to do it for myself, just to have the experience, despite how small of an experience it will turn out to be. Whether destiny or luck, I know there is a divine timing in all things. What is played out for individuals is a specific theme guided by spiritual forces, so that mastery over the self can be realized. Some require the experience of fame and fortune, while others do not need to go through that particular snare. Indeed, it is the experience that needs to be focused on and not any thought of reward. I assume my spirit guides gave me this information so that I don’t expect any kind of fantasy to be realized and continue to focus on spiritual realization. All the same, it has always been the case that I have had just enough money at just the right times in order for me to continue doing what I enjoy doing. It is a kind of spiritual geometry that always aligns.

I am not entirely certain how I will be able to assimilate some higher concepts into playing video games, but just as my game Path of Vidya is meant to help people find something greater than the virtual world, I intend to also find a way to play games and lead people into a more expanded reality. I actually have no idea if this is possible, but it sure would be cool if it was.

Since gaming is so ubiquitous in the world, I have seen many gaming channels that attempt to talk spirituality while blowing out the brains of their virtual enemies. It is a scene that would probably make most observers cringe at the thought. It seems too paradoxical to allow both aspects a royal seat on the throne of higher consciousness, but that is where I now find myself.

It goes back to the idea of the left-hand path and fully exploring one’s desires to their very end. Video games have integrated their digital signature into the depths of my soul, from a very young age, and I intend to see my way through the maze as best as I can. If you happen to be reading this at the right timing, you will be able to find me on my Twitch.tv channel streaming some mysterious impendimenta for your entertainment and/or possibly for your enlightenment. Let’s assume the latter, just so I can feel better about what I wrote and the insane adventure I am about to stumble into.








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