For many people in my generation and the generations that follow — we have rejected the idea of being a “wage slave” for a living, and have instead opted for the loving support of our parents or some other kind of living arrangement.
However, I have only recently (as of 33 years of age) decided to get a traditional job, in the world and move out from my home. A change that I did not assume was necessary for any kind of conscious evolution, until now. Concluding instead, to magically believe that perhaps the universe would manifest my ambitions for me. A weird belief that was a blend of some kind of simultaneous desire/desire-less state, brought about by the extreme emphases of both the active western thought control, and the subtle eastern surrendering of all worldly attachment. Causing me to lean into the idea that all could be obtained without any consistent physical action towards my goals.
Now that I have a job, my mind has obviously shifted into thinking about it more. My time has become more limited, and the amount of people I have to interact with or exchange “energy” with (so to speak) has also increased. Life has stopped feeling like I was part this peaceful “home” monastery and feels more like a constant material endeavor of “keeping up” with it all. I trust you know the feeling all too well.
Living The Dream
So, understanding all that — I find myself once again curious about my dreams. For in dreams, we can sometimes access strange wisdom that allows us to expand our consciousness in many ways.
Immediately, I noticed that one of the worst things was happening to me in my dreams:
I was starting to find myself working my job, within my dreams.
An awfully grim affair, as a dream theoretically is open to the most blissful of opportunities, vacation spots, and interesting entities to interact with. Yet, here I was, working the same job I was going to have to go to in the evening. All because my mind could not discern that I was in a dream.
I suppose all the work I did not do in this life is, in some kind of way, is being karmically double-timed by my subconscious. I happened to speak with a co-worker that mentioned how she had to stay at work all day. As a joke, I said “That sucks, I bet you probably dreamed of work as well” Half-knowing, her mind was likely worried about all the responsibilities that were before here. She actually was taken back a bit, and said “Yeah actually, I did dream of work last night”.
In this way, our mind functions. Always concerned about what lies ahead, because of guilt of our past follies. Though, I keep getting the message over and over, that only within the presence of mind, can we escape the true grind, that is the constant need to control our circumstances.
As well, my dreams seem to be far more forgettable. Just like any work day, the majority of the experience is not worth talking about. This seems like a small shift to how it used to be. For before, I was constantly traveling to some new area within the scope of my dreams. Interacting with strangers, and going to new lands. Even to the point of experiencing very lucid, magnanimous and hyper-real phenomena. Yet, this was always counter-balanced with equally nightmarish scenes as a consequence of my internal emotions about avoiding society.
Now that I am at this point, I find myself sipping on Blue Lotus Dream tea, seeing if I can find a glimpse of that sweet glory again. Though, as I understand how this works (forgive the pun), I need to constantly become more mindful in the waking world, in order to be given the freedom within the dream world. It also apparently also works in vice versa, as I have been told, that the “process” will be accelerated if I let go of my thinking mind. The mind that is constantly concerned with getting things done. Though there may always be material goals, mundane tasks and challenges that are constantly being sorted in the mind — ultimately the path is already set into motion by the initial desire. So what truly needs to be done?
The fact that it took me so long to realize that I only had to find work like everybody else, to provide myself with the independence that I desired, is one reason why I sometimes feel I can’t trust my old spiritual ways of just “surrendering” and “letting go” to the circumstances at hand. But, I am realizing it was not this that made me so imbalanced. It was actually beliefs in my mind, thoughts that ran on subtle auto-pilot, that made me think I was stuck repeating the same cycles.
This is why realization is instant. And if there is no realization, you might as well be comfortable doing as you normally do. There is much more to say on this matter! I would like to share it with you, as we dive deeper into what we truly desire as individuals. For certainly, it becomes more intertwined into the vastness of our collective consciousness. And the growing endeavor of compassion to all living things in the cosmic spheres.