I felt like I was in a video game. I was shooting zombies mindlessly until I began to question the ethicacy of what I was doing. I was then swarmed with a series of thoughts that were not my own — hard to grasp what they were saying. They seemed astonished by my energy. But, why?
Waking up from the dream, I felt this static haze. The first of my dream phases often begin by feeling this confining, as though, I have some sort of subconscious job I am tasked with in some other realm. Some say this is actually the case when we sleep — that we are helping more people than we know.
I fell back asleep and quickly I was met with a black and blue dragon of an amazingly detailed texture. Speaking telepathically — its words were faded. It was like they wanted me to help them with something happening in the “Orion Citadel”.
I wake up from this too, feeling somewhat ecstatic. I do enjoy when a dream leaves me feeling as though I experienced something magnanimous rather than something tragic. I feel that ending any dream on a good note, always makes my day slightly better. Joseph Campbell says as much about the Hero’s Journey, and it makes me wonder when the story of Earth will conclude in such a way?
I am not sure what I did after this dream, but perhaps I took a walk in the mall or in the park. I enjoy my solitude more than anything else. Recently, a part of myself, felt pushed to start live-streaming video games. I have tried many things to see if I could earn an effortless stream of money, and so this felt like the last thing that I had to try. Having attempted this once before, I felt I needed to give it one final go, even though, it was hinted by what I call my “spiritual guides” that I wouldn’t need to do this.
Indeed, I found myself in a virtual room, streaming video games all alone. It was kind of fun to put on a show, but ultimately it seemed more like a sign that this kind of endeavor was better suited for others. It was only today I realized that I had to refocus more on the higher aspects of life. On accelerating my “spiritual energy” (so to say), in order that I can begin to have more lucidity in my dreams and astral project to the other dimensions. All the while, this endeavor will help my waking life become more synchronistic and enlightened.
While I do enjoy writing or the occasional podcast to express the contrasting dynamics of speech and experience, it has also been hinted that these endeavors as well, will not allow me to go where I desire. Which leaves me stranded within a dead-end of spiritual faith. This may sound defeatist or dis-empowering, but I actually rather believe this to be true. If I begin to trust my guidance maybe I can finally surrender to the open void.
It is within this open field of non-expression, and simply being aloof to the world, at hand, do I feel the most alive. Though, I do enjoy interactions or expression when they need to happen, it is only in this unique capacity, that I can achieve sensations that feel ancient and beyond the normal scope of mundane living. In this vast space, it is very much indescribable, and I have only really been given a glimpse of it. When I read the mystical texts of the saints and sages before me, I see quite clearly that they were on a whole other level. Climbing towards an ascension that I can’t even begin to imagine as of yet.
So, I meander here and there. The impression of my keyboard approaching the depths of the Atlantic Ocean, and the sounds of the keys abiding up the highest peaks of Mount Shasta. Where else is there to go? I continue to play games, and I continue to be aware of what occurs in the world. There has to be a complete aside to what is known in the past, and what is expected of the future. When writing happens, writing happens. Lovingly, I no longer have to concern myself with an outcome or an approach. As long as I remember, that is, and as long as I do, the tide will overflow with power. The light of the invisible sun will shine without anyone having to know.
It is better this way.