No Loss, Nor Sever

Art by Caring Wong

I continue my quest for more Enlightenment. So I am told, Enlightenment is the cessation of suffering and an expansion of consciousness into a more complete holistic view. A state of being with many degrees of self-knowledge, and with none.

Recently, I have explored the idea of abundance. While this concept may seem like it isn’t tied into mindfulness at all — it is. More than will be shared in this article. Because within this idea, there can be a steady peace of mind. Equally, there can be a dangerous hunger that can stumble anyone. It is good to know, that any stumble, is still part of the path.

As I grew more bored with my material life seemingly not changing at all, I started to behave a little differently than I have ever done so before. I started to believe I needed to make something more of myself, so that I could be worthy of more wealth. This was a desire that was never innately born within me, as it is with other people. However, I began to believe I needed some kind of fame, in order that I could get the attention for my work, thus the money needed to improve my life situation.

This swung the pendulum of the active principle, in my life, to an unstable rhythm. I began to work much more feverishly to obtain this goal. As a result, I was spending less time on self-actualizing my consciousness towards higher states of being. It would seem that my concentrated effort was not providing me anything at all, but thoughts of negativity.

These thoughts were extinguished in due time, but the effects were lingering longer in me than I would have liked. It felt like I was going backwards instead of forwards.

During the course of my faint forgetfulness, I created a subtle cynicism towards certain spiritual teachings that preached a gospel of positive thinking and manifestation based solely on that alone. I felt like this was not helpful at all, because it created a sense of complacency over action. The idea that I could somehow manifest a living situation by pure magic alone, seemed impossible since that is how I lived my life for many years, with no material change. Though of course, these negative thoughts I also recognized as being unpreferable. They just seemed to spontaneously generate themselves more, during this time, and as a consequence, I had to utilize more energy to extinguish them. This was happening because there was a part of myself that was resisting the direction I was heading. I started to forget my dreams, synchronicity became rarer, and my state of being became more readily lost in thought.

Then, I started to re-remember the words of the free flowing mystics who spoke of not caring about a single thing. I realized I was placing far too much emphasis on effort and reward than on innately sensing my own experience and allowing what to happen to happen.

In this, I re-realized that I was controlling my experience far too much again. The pendulum had to balance itself out. I understood that, like everyone, I was a unique individual. In this, I know I like to work far less than others. Thus if I get no attention, I get no attention, so what? Certainly, I will always strive towards my waking dream, but I have to surrender to what is. A sacrifice of myself to myself. A gift from higher to lower. From lower to higher.

Connected with this, was a slowing down of my opinions, as well. I know that some kind of collective action is needed, but I have yet to see an open window to jump in on that action. This acceptance, reinforced the power of my subjective consciousness further. As I have said before, one can only “do as they do”. Once their awareness reaches a point where another option can be seen, then action is useful. I have found, that synchronicity provides everything. Abundance is not gold and fancy cars. It is only the ability to do what you need to do in the moment (which for some, might be fancy cars, but for me, it is not that).

This is where I began to sense back to my peace again. I started to have lucid dream experiences. My meditation, once again, was deep and profound. Synchronicity started to show up more and more. Basically, life continued as always. Now though, I have a slightly greater grasp of my preference. I do not have to necessarily succumb to creating click-bait articles or grinding it out with a side-hustle. Unless I really wanted to.

What action needs to be taken is only dependent on the insight in that moment. On a collective level, I see things will become far more frustrating before they get better, but this doesn’t have to be expended in ire.

It only has to reach the correct timing. Haha!

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