Nostalgia is usually defined as a sentimental longing for the past. In nostalgia is a type of pleasure for what we once had, and a pain of knowing we will never get it back.
Or will we?
Often when we look back at old memories, we see them through rose-colored glasses, that paint the unique experience as being more pleasurable than it probably was for us, in the moment. For when we go back to re-live the memories by dusting off old movies, games, or traveling to old locations on the map — we find that we would rather have lived it, as though it was the first time again.
In this pleasure is a type of pain. It is a pain of a lost moment, that seems to be trapped forever in a forgotten past. Perhaps, we were more innocent back then? Or maybe it is something more subtle? But, whatever the case, seems to be a subjective sensational quality that is hard to describe.
I am often hit with bursts of this sensational quality whenever I walk through a mall. I see all kinds of colorful paraphernalia and art, that is linked with the pop-culture of games and television shows that I was very interested in the past. The lights and sounds of the advertising shops, and aesthetics, will always trigger a sensation of nostalgia in me.
The pain of the nostalgia always leads me to want to relive it in some way. I will always jump out of the moment, with thoughts of how I could maybe play some old video game (or something) to bring that visceral ecstatic joy back to me.
However, I play mystic in this realm. Thinking about my past and future in this way, is not an ideal utilization of the energy bestowed upon me.
Instead, of circumventing this pain by thinking about how I could relive the past — I always attempt to sense the fullness of the nostalgia wave before me. By doing this, the energy is actually cycled back into my body as a type of tingling sensation down the spine. This feels immensely pleasurable. In this, a new type of experience is born.
Although, this isn’t exactly reliving the pleasurable nostalgia experience, as it was, it does open myself up to tremendously blissful qualities in my state of being. The triggering of a nostalgic memory is therefore, no longer a painful happening, but a purely joyful one.
The problem of course, is that this is really hard to do. Allowing the feeling of pain to flow through you instead of into thought, demands a very conscious attitude in life. Yet, with this conscious attitude, one can seemingly obtain to more valuable degrees of Enlightenment.
With that said, I write this verse to further explain:
In the past — pleasure forgotten,
In the future — a promise we feel.
To the glowing tree,
Through the glittering forest,
Sought this magical seal.
In this mysterious yonder.
The pulse of fear cannot take hold,
Sage awakens, smiles bristly
Thus to sonder and to gold.