A Real Endeavor And A Paper Moon

Recently, I decided to move out and live on my own by working full-time. It is something I once told my friend “I would rather die” than actually do, and yet here I am. Though I am still here, it did feel like a little bit of me did actually die in the process. I was met with a more forced reality than I had envisioned in the machinations of my imagination and dreams. A reality that demanded a constant stream of a particular energy from anyone in exchange for a personal living space.

In spirituality, it is possible to surrender into the idea of work with more ease, but if this is the case, why not just surrender into the idea of doing what you actually want to do? Is there a difference between the two?

It has been two months now, and I can’t help but compare my previous living arrangement with my current one. It seems as though my dreams have been forgettable and restricting. A simulacrum or reflection of where I seem to be at the moment. I am beginning to realize that staying blissfully conscious is a task that is a lot harder to do when in the real world of income, bills, and work relationships. Despite the challenge, I find myself a bit more tired than usual.

In this, I harken to the old idea that one has to follow “their passion” in all things. While certainly spirituality is my passion, and I love to speak to others on my podcast about spiritual concepts or life philosophy — I have simultaneously always been passionate about video games. Exploring their addiction and possible brainwashing mechanisms, to their beauty and ability to connect people through fantastic artistic, musical and engaging story formats.

However, playing video games for a living seemed to be an “unspiritual” thing to do. It almost seemed like a distraction from real life interactions of… I dunno, helping build houses for people? Or perhaps working at some kind of soup kitchen! As helpful as those things are, video games still seem to have a positive impact upon people’s lives. Such as a study recently that showed how video games can assist in boosting the intelligence of some individuals. Or how YouTube star, Arin Hanson (of Game Grumps), has told his audience that they receive letters all the time from fans that literally say “Game Grumps saved my life”. Due to the show’s flare for humor, sincere life experiences, and video games. It is just a fact now, that video games are essential for some individual’s mental health.

Though the dark side of gaming is obvious addiction, the light side is how it allows people to feel good about their lives, when there is seemingly nothing else to feel good about. While this is all well and good, I strongly desire to throw spirituality into the mix. A word that often appears too daunting or woo-woo to be taken seriously by people who rather ignore certain aspects of their own self-knowledge.

This has me attempting to already feel a way out of my current working situation by going for the illustrious (and perhaps) Pollyanna gold of becoming a full time streamer of video games. Something that I always figured was outside the scope of possibility, yet always desired as a way of life since being a child. I find myself easily becoming conscious of my ability to doubt it all.

Is it even possible for me to do? Right now on twitch there is a tag known as “spirituality”, however it only has a handful of people seeking it out as a form of intrigue. Definitely, it still appears that a “spiritually mindful individual” wouldn’t seem to bother themselves with distractions of gaming and opt to instead, read a book or go for a walk. Yet, if I can infuse mindfulness into my work experience, easily it can be infused into the gaming world, as ostensibly a few people on twitch are doing as we speak.

Many video games already have expanded and spiritual concepts sprinkled throughout their vast libraries of artistic worlds. More and more, writers and artists will make the spiritual world more pronounced and obvious as people begin to go for things that are outside the scope of materialism or a mundane Good vs Evil dynamic. Ensuring people understand compassion, purpose, and bliss, on a scale that goes beyond military funded shoot’em ups that have the sexually frustrated yelling insults over proxy chat.

Time eventually heals all wounds, and in time I trust I will be able to be a real healer instead of a virtual one. When I visited Mt. Shasta (dazed and confused about my life purpose due to some people’s negative opinions about video games) someone told me that “Earth has a role for you”. Somehow I feel there is something to this. And if not, I would rather die again! Haha!

Follow me on twitch for gaming fun AND spiritual insight!



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