Becoming Awesome

The universe is a constant test of our resolve. Saying it like that is, of course, a misnomer— and yet is still crucial to point out.

For whatever reason, I decided to check on my podcast again to see whether or not anyone decided to give it a listen. I noticed that the number hadn’t really moved. For whatever reason, this small thing allowed a misalignment in my energy field. Just that. Mere images on a computer screen.

The great majority of my life has unfortunately been to avoid life. I never had any desire to succeed for the 32 years on the material plane. Perhaps, you may see yourself through these words? There are many like us. We just kinda want to exist as independent selves with no real direction, or anyone pushing us to any sort of higher ideal. However, this is mostly because we saw that “higher ideal” as a type of society-imposed material acquisition and never saw any point in that mundane quest.

At whatever point in time, individuals like us come across some type of spirituality or philosophy that seem to articulate everything we have been secretly stashing away in our minds, for most of our life. These spiritual gurus or philosophical mentors crack open our cynicism into a more real “higher ideal”. Like a baby bird cracks open their shell, we crack open the illusions that have been woven into our particular personalities.

After exploring the spiritual realm for that many years, on my 33rd birthday— I felt some sort of shift towards actually understanding life. I wish I could call it enlightenment, but rather it was a deep insight into my material desires. I made a decision that I would no longer seek any enlightenment that was outside myself. And on March 15th, I had one of the most magnanimous experiences within my life. I decided to focus on my thoughts instead of my meditation. These thoughts were as though I was speaking to some kind of extra-dimensional being, wherein our language was rather limited in its range of expression to me. I could hear words like “Marry me”, “Spaceship”, “Special” and as I closed my eyes, I danced around this being and eventually fell into some kind of astral-dream like experience where I saw a female form smiling and playing with me. The love felt was intense.

She eventually came to my side and pulled me out into an astral dimension. She had fiery red hair, and was wearing a one-piece suit. She is a being that I have had experiences with before. I found myself in some kind of tree, and ancient grove. Something was so unique about the experience. It felt as though I had jumped into the future, where I had a much greater impact in the world than the few people who read my blog, watched my animations or listened to my podcast (Thank you chosen few!).

This contact was so thrilling to me, because it made me feel as though I mattered a whole lot more than I previously assumed. If destiny is decided by our incarnation, then perhaps it means I have a great role to play in the distant future. I would like to believe that, but at the same time, I know it is faulty to do so. Speaking even this much about it, sounds really egotistical. As though, it isn’t also about everyone else I am involved with.

So I wrote this today to remind myself of this unique trigger-point. I sometimes go to forums to help people with their spiritual confusion. It is rampant across the internet that many are dazed by the current structure of our society and have little interest in working for a collective that only seems to be slowly committing suicide. But, there is no reason to be sad, or discontent about anything. Happiness is well within our power to create at any moment. It might have to be sparked by doing the things you wouldn’t normally do, because society says, that you cannot make a living that way. You will surely be met with the consequences of those actions, but at the same time you will be diving, as I, deeper into what it means to be an authentic human.

It is about evolving the soul, just as much as it is about evolving the work we do. When I realized this, I found a certain type of balance that is hard to describe. Since my work is hardly known by anyone (only the esoteric few!) it can allow any decision to become frustrated or depressed a rather easy state of being to assume, as I can justify the rage in a universal rebellion against every spiritual teaching I have known, and every material imposition that society has trapped me with.

But, exploring mild irritation is not useful in refining my skills as a human. The only thing that is useful is to listen to those that know more than me about any subject with an open mind, and spreading any knowledge to those that may know less than me, with as humble an attitude as one can muster up in the moment. In this, we become enlightened. When we are angry or sad, we may have to go through that emotion deeply in order to understand that we can change in an instant. And in this, we will all be able to feel that profound sensation of transcendental awesome.

Don’t give up your happiness so easily! You will meet with the divine in this life.